Answer me honestly, people: Who of you have the feeling of „being arrived“? Not in a meaning of that’s the end, no more ambitions or goals. But generally speaking. Are you content with where you are and what you have?
Why I ask? Because on life’s road so far, I have been searching for that goal like crazy. I have tried it all. Different cities and countries to live in. Changing jobs within the same branche. Studying to become a vet. Becoming a makeup artist. Going back to my old (marketing) branche. Moving from apartment to apartment. Starting and quitting again all kinds of sports and interests – from downhill biking to beekeping.
All those experiences are very dear and/or valuable. I have met many lovely people, learnt new things, widened my world.
But in the end, hardly anything brought me closer to that famous „goal“ we are looking for. Goal meaning feeling arrived.
My friends around me found jobs they absolutely loved. They started families, got married, became parents and bought homes and cars.
Sometimes I was jealous, sometimes I wasn’t. A job to love? Yes, I would have liked that. A pretty car? Yeah, I’m all in. Children? Hell no, brrr.
So I went from job to job, excited at the beginning, frustrated at the end. I was well paid. But I quickly found out that a sexy paycheck might be very helpful when it comes to vacations and hobbies, but not for feeling happy. And it took me a while to figure – as long as I stayed in the branch I was in I would never truly like my life.
I knew a hundred things that I did not like or want to do. But i had no clue what I really wanted.
However, things have changed a lot since December 2018 when I moved to Thailand to become a divemaster and then a dive instructor.
I now enjoy getting up and going to work in the morning. I would have never thought that would ever happen to me. I like my job, I LOVE diving, I feel totally content when the people diving with me had a great day.
So did I finally find that goal?
My theory is: For some people this famous goal might not exist.
For myself I have come to believe that The Way is the Goal is what I can hope for in my life. To be happy on the way without ever knowing where it leads. I have absolutely no clue where I see myself in 5 years.
And could I right now imagine another life than the one I am leading? Absolutely! I miss having a lovely and proper apartment, my own things, having a car, cooking every evening in a nicely equipped kitchen, meeting friends for breakfast on Saturdays and all the other conservative things that one might do in a conservative life. I scroll through Pinterest, I see so many things I want to do, have, see and eat.
At exactly the same time I feel free without all the stuff that I gave away before I moved to Thailand. Life is so simple now. I truly live from day to day. What’s coming up next week? What do I care!
So there is not that ONE aim that I want to reach. I could imagine five different ways of life that I would all like. At least in my mind.
I guess, that is just it. The constant change. The search for the things I love to do. The way is the goal without ever reaching a goal.
I go for it.